Stadiums and Shrines
by warhol
Summary: AU. Brooke is new. Her and Peyton collide. Breyton
1. Stadiums and Shrines

**Title**: Stadiums and Shrines

**Author**: Warhol

**Fandom**: One Tree Hill

**Pairing**: Brooke/Peyton Eventually

**Rating**: Teenish maybe even less

**Summary**: AU. Brooke is new. Her and Peyton collide. "The funny thing about rain it's coming from everywhere, no matter how hard you try, it always hits you."

**Author's Note**: I have always enjoyed AU versions of One Tree Hill because I think the characters started great but they have kinda evolved into lesser versions of themselves as of late. So I am trying to explore a possibility of a relationship that has been treated like a match to every lame conflict on the show.

**Disclaimer**: I don't One Tree Hill. You know why? Because I am poor.

Peyton was sketching away in her pad when she heard the soft click of the door. Considering it was an average high school classroom, it wasn't a rare occurrence.

"Class, we have a new student." Mr. McKinley said shaking the students from the relative quiet of the assigned reading.

"Her name is Brooke Davis. Say hi Brooke." Then came a small hi from the front of the room. This is the point where Peyton looked up. She wanted to go back to sketching but, she couldn't. This girl, this random girl, this random almost nameless girl had a hold on her.

"Now take a seat Miss Davis. Anywhere you want." There were plenty of free seats around. A lot of people opted out of the first period class so they could sleep in. Several jocks decided to turn on their bright smiles hoping to lure her next to them. Brooke strode down the aisle and let out a smile showcasing her adorable dimples. Was that to me? Do I want it to be to me? Peyton thought to herself as Brooke took the seat right next to her.

"Brooke, stay after class today and I can look for a book for you until then share." With that he sat down as a sign for us to continue our reading.

"Excuse me, can I share with you." Before she could respond her body did by pushing her desk to connect with hers. The book was still open to the first assigned page, clearly indicated she had not started. Peyton decided to cover her embarrassment by feigning reading. She waited with sweaty palm on the second page. Waiting for Brooke to give her the go head to turn it. All of a sudden, a paper was now in the way of the place she was faking reading in.

It read _Did you draw that? _It was referring to the sketch Peyton was working on before new girl showed up and got her all distracted. It was written in impossibly girly handwriting. Peyton half expected the 'i' to be dotted with a heart. Peyton wrote back with a _yeah._

_It's good._

_Thanks._

_You always this chatty…?_

_Peyton Sawyer_

_Nice Name._

_Thanks._

_This reading isn't required is it?_

_No, it is just an excuse for him to be in chat rooms._

_Thanks for the heads up. What would I do without you Knowledge girl?_

_I guess you won't ever know. _

Once the paper was slid back over the bell rang. Peyton left the classroom as Brooke proceeded to get her book and a syllabus from the teacher. As Brooke exited the room she felt a small tap on her shoulder that caused her to jump up in surprise. As her books and paper scattered on the floor, Peyton went to help her pick them up.

"Sorry." Brooke noted on how lithe and coltish the girl was as Peyton helped to pick up her things.

"I was just wondering if you needed help getting to your next class." Peyton explained as she returned the books to the brunette girl.

"Um not really. They had an orientation for the new kids, so I pretty much know where everything is."

"Oh." Peyton's face fell slightly. This was all she really thought through in her "Operation Get to know Brooke" plan.

"But," Peyton's ears perked up at the word, maybe the stupid plan could work.

"But, I still need someone to sit with at lunch. The new kid can't sit alone at lunch. Then everyone will think they are seriously lame." The fun in Brooke's voice was clearly displaying itself. Peyton let out a little smile.

"I guess I could be a nice person and save you from that label."

"Twice in one day you have saved me P. Sawyer. You certainly know how to play the knight-in-shining armor." Brooke said as she turned to walk to her second period class. Peyton's class was the opposite direction. As one point the click of Brooke's high heels became in perfect sync with Peyton's Converse. Peyton couldn't help but get lost in the sound momentarily.

After approximately the seventh thousand pencil tap against Peyton's desk the bell rang for lunch. She reached down for her messenger bag as she headed to lunch. She spotted Brooke at a table secluded from most of the others. Suddenly, her hands needed her pockets. Peyton shoved them deep in her pants hoping this would get rid of the twitching her hands wanted to display.

"Hey. So knight-in-shining armor reporting for duty." Peyton mentally kicked herself for sounding so lame.

"Good because a moment later and I would've been lamer than the Clean Teens."

"You're not here for a whole day and you already know about them?"

"Oh yeah. We're good friends. I was at my locker third period and they swarmed around asking me to join their freak virgin club."

"Did you join? 'Cause if I'm hanging with a Clean Teen, I need to be saved from lameness."

"No, I informed them that I missed one of requirements for enrollment, and then I ran." She wasn't a virgin. This made Peyton a little sad. Sure, she herself wasn't a virgin, but, part of her wanted Brooke to be a virgin.

"Good because otherwise I'd be heading for the hills."

"And we wouldn't want that to happen." Brooke's voice took a husky lit to it. Peyton felt her ears burning. She was blushing.

"So, where are you from?" The girl quickly changed the subject hoping the blood would leave her face.

"Most recently Raleigh. Before that LA, Sacramento, New York, a little town in Connecticut and tons of other places."

"Your parents move you around a lot?"

"Yeah, It's kinda weird the only time I actually see them is when we are about to move. How bout you? What's your story?"

"Um, nothing really. My dad really isn't around much either. I've lived here my whole life. I practically live by myself."

"What about your mom?" Her mom. It was bound to come up. She didn't think so soon though. It's still never easy to say what she has to. Especially knowing she will go home to a house that is just a constant reminder of her.

"She died when I was younger. So, I guess she really isn't around much either." Peyton never liked burdening anyone with this information. She would usually just says it and walk away. It was always easier that way. No more long pauses before insincere sorrys. She refused to hear one more.

"Oh. I'm so sorry." She meant it. She really meant it. Her eyes had sadness in her eyes as if it was her own mother that died. She slid her hand over the table to grab Peyton's hand to give it a reassuring squeeze.

"It's fine. At least I knew her, you know. A lot of people don't even get to say that much."

"I guess that is one of the best parts of getting to know someone. Knowing that whatever happens at least you can say that you knew them."

"What's the best?"

"Actually knowing them."

_You see something to cheer about_

_I'll tell you that it's mine_

_I'm sorry that your mother died_

_But that one wasn't my fault_

_I'm sorry anybody dies at all these days_

- **Sunset Rubdown**


	2. The Rally

For two weeks Brooke and Peyton ate lunch together. Peyton grew use to her laugh and the way she worded things. The numerous nicknames she used. Peyton became "Blondie", that girl in the poncho from the tutor center because "Tutor girl" and that blonde guy, who might be her boyfriend, became "Broody". Everything looked on the up and up until Brooke uttered the fatal sentence.

"So I tried out for the squad." The fork that had been fiddling in Peyton's salad looking for that damned crouton stilled.

"Please tell you are referring to a gun squad, clown squad, Nazi squad perhaps?"

"Haha P. Sawyer." There goes another one. She liked that one too.

"I was talking about the cheerleading squad." She wanted to shout what the hell were you thinking. She wanted to ask why. She knew why. She wanted normalcy, she wanted friends, she wanted normal friends. We weren't meant to be friends. I am just a placeholder Peyton thought.

"How do you think you did?"

"I think I did well. I mean who could resist _this_ charm?" Brooke ended it with a wink. Peyton knew she wasn't one of those people that could resist. Moth meet flame. Flame meet Moth. The problem with being the moth is you always get burned. Always.

Brooke made the squad. She did a little jump in the hallway and squealed. She rushed into first period buzzing with excitement to tell her blonde friend. Brooke spilled the sentence out into one long word to Peyton. She smiled on the outside for her brunette friend but inside she was breaking. At Lunch, the brown haired girl told her friend that the cheerleaders had to eat lunch together for a week. The girl who had linked arms with Brooke to accompany her informed Peyton "It's like a bonding thing." During the week Peyton drove home to eat but, mostly draw. By Tuesday she had finished a drawing of a group of girls in cheerleading skirts and one in jeans. All the girls' backs had been turned on a girl with curly hair. It read "Welcome to the dark side."

Brooke realized on Thursday that she had not seen Peyton at lunch all week. So during their first period class she was going to inquire what her friend had been so busy with.

_Hey, long time no see at lunch. What's up? _Peyton was surprised to see a neatly folded note plopped on her desk especially with "READ ME" written on it.

_I have been eating at home._

_Oh. Sorry about the whole cheerleading lunch cult bond thing. _Brooke threw this over certain it would get Peyton to crack a smile, apparently sure had a different definition than she thought because Peyton's lips did not even quiver to form a shape.

_No big deal. _As soon as she finish tossing it over, Peyton walked out as the bell rang. Not even so much as a second look in Brooke's direction.

The last bell of the day rang. Peyton walked with hands in her pocket bracing the cold and rain that had hit her as she left the building. She fiddled for her car keys in her bag. I really need to put less shit in here she thought to herself as they finally came into grasp. She entered her car and looked to the ground to find a cd to listen for the ride home. After she pulled out of the parking lot she noticed someone up ahead walking in the pouring rain. They were using their purse to cover their head. It was doing a poor job. Peyton spotted the purse and deduced it was a girl. She pulled up next to the girl. She rolled down her windows.

"Hey, you probably don't know me but do you need a ride?"

"I certainly don't know you. What's up Jekyll? Where ya been? I have only been seeing good ol' Hyde. Let me tell you she is a bitch and a half."

"Hi Brooke." Peyton mumbled out.

"Hi Brooke? Hi Brooke! That's what you say to me after cold shoulder fest?"

"Look, you want a ride or not?"

"You know I would be making a ridiculously speech about principles and such but, it is raining like a bitch." Brooke raced over to other side of the car and slid in. She lightly shook her hair out.

"What are you waiting for?"

"I don't know where you live. I'm not really sure which way to go."

"Oh. Just keep going straight." They rode in silence except for the moments where Brooke would direct her. They finally pulled up to her house.

"So."

"So."

"What's your deal?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean one day you are all super cool chick. Then the next you are all quiet McLameface."

"Nothing. Nothing's up"

"Okay. Now for the truth. Does this have to do with cheerleading?"

"No, it doesn't. I just… it just doesn't okay. Trust me." Peyton kept gripping the steering wheel hoping the sweat that had accumulated would go away.

"Fine. If you are so fine then you will be at the pep rally on Friday." They still have those damn things? Good lord. Peyton thought to herself.

"Sure. Yeah I'll be there."

"Good. With a smile on your face?"

"Now you're pushing it."

"You will be there and you will like it, P.Sawyer, trust me." With that Brooke left the car only to turn around into the window.

"By the way, thanks for the ride. I like Jekyll." With that she quickly ran into the house to avoid the rain. The funny thing about rain it's coming from everywhere, no matter how hard you try, it always hits you.

Peyton arrived at the Pep Rally totally confused. What am I doing here she kept asking herself. Peyton had an internal dilemma about where to sit. She first thought sit in the back but in the movies she had watched the loudest people sat in the back. The front row was completely empty. This is a sign. She was definitely supposed to sit here. Peyton sat down in the first row.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" A voice shrieked.

"Um sitting."  
"This is reserved for cheerleaders and basketball players. What are you a pep rally virgin or something?" The girl with the obscenely large foam finger said.

"Whatever." Peyton left the reserved for gods row and found one more towards the middle.

All of sudden a rumbling of feet came out of the doors. She didn't stand up with the crowd of people. It was the squad she assumed. They were saying something about craving ravens which Peyton finds amusing. Come on craving ravens, eating crow. That's gold. She stands to get a better look. She immediately spots Brooke on the right wing doing some V-shaped maneuver. Her eyes were shifting through the crowd. Who was she looking for Peyton wondered. At this point she has probably made tons of friends that she all told to come support the team or some other crap. Brooke's eyes stop when they see Peyton standing there almost bobbing her head as if she was at a concert. Probably a knee-jerk reaction the cheerleader thought. She let out a large smile at seeing Peyton there. Peyton smiled back and let out a half-wave. This is what Pep rallies are all about. Peyton got it now.

_Hook up with me, meet at the rally_

_Follow the shouting, I am longing for you_

_Hook up with me, meet at the rally I waited so long, I couldn't find a cause…_

_Don't you give me those_

_Shifty eyes pay attention_

**- Phoenix **


	3. Aside

"Sawyer."

"Sawyer"

"Sawyer!"

"Hey PEYTON!" Peyton lowered her headphones once she heard her name being shrilled across the hall.

"Hey. What's up Brooke?"

"Us. We are going to lunch."

"What about the cheerleaders?"

"The week is up, hon. I greatly missed our intellectual conversations." Peyton beamed that Brooke missed her in anyway and would be back in her life. Even if the reason was that thinly veiled intellectual conversations thing, considering the deepest one was the great "Skittle vs. M&M debate".

"So where do you want to head for lunch."

"Certainly not this cafeteria."

"Would you mind if we went to your house for lunch?" Brooke asked while twisting her purse strap over and over. She's nervous. Peyton noted I make her nervous.

"Yeah, sure." They drove in Peyton's car with idle chatter. Peyton let Brooke in house and once they entered her bag and leather jacket met the living room chair.

"So, what do you want?"

"What do you have?"

"Um, I don't really know. Let me check." The blonde girl entered the kitchen and started rattling off lunch options. She noticed that there was a lack of response on Brooke's part. She reentered the living room to ask her up close.

"Brooke, what do you want…" She stopped at seeing Brooke running her fingers over pictures.

"Is this you?" Brooke asked of the picture of the blonde baby smiling into the camera.

"Yes, baby with fro equals baby Peyton."

"No, you are so adorable. You were such a happy baby." Her mom took this picture. Her mom took all these pictures.

"What do you want to eat?" Shaking the brunette out of the picture haze.

"I'll have whatever you're having." With that the curly haired girl returned to the kitchen. Brooke was in awe of the pictures. All of her pictures were the set posed ones you did at department stores. This showed Peyton, a baby growing, unhindered growth. You saw a life lived in these pictures. A candid view on a life she wished she was there for. Peyton strolled back in the living room with two plates.

"I made the good stuff." Brooke took a piece of the sandwich cut diagonally like a mother would do for a child and bit into it.

"Is this PB & J?" She inquired while chewing.

"Yeah, why? Shit you are allergic to nuts aren't you? Or do you just not like them. I'm so sorry. Here let me get that."

"No! No, it's fine really. I just haven't had one of these since I was like four." Peyton quirked an eyebrow at Brooke.

"My mom kinda told me that peanut butter would make me fat so I shouldn't eat them."

"Are you serious? Well, to make up for it, I will make you tons of them." Brooke's face illuminated at that statement.

"You are too sweet."

"Thanks."

"CanIseeyourroom?" Brooke spat out. Everyone's room was so private and Peyton was more guarded than most. She felt as if it was a stupid, but, necessary question.

"What?"

"Can I see your room? I have been really wondering what it looks like."

"Oh really? You have been thinking about my room? Why Miss Davis, I didn't know you were that dirty." Brooke's cheeks were tickled pink as Peyton let out one of her smart-ass remarks.

"Oh get over yourself and get your mind out of the gutter, Sawyer. So am I going to get the tour or what?"

"Sure. I just hope it lives up to your dreams." Brooke lightly punched Peyton at her chiding. Peyton led them upstairs and opened the first door to the right.

"It isn't much but, it's all mine." Much? This isn't much? Peyton's room was a deep red. One wall completely adorned with shelves of vinyl. The others had drawings or concert posters tacked up. There was one that stuck out immediately to Brooke. It showed a boy with shaggy hair, a furrowed brow and appeared to be holding a baby.

"Who's this?"

"That is Jake. He is just some guy I know, knew. Some guy I knew." Brooke could tell by her reaction it wasn't something she would pry about. Peyton had her back turned as Brooke looked through her room. She couldn't watch her look at her drawings. It was always easier when strangers look at them. They had an opinion and if it didn't match yours you could always forget about it. With people you know, you want a certain response from them. If you don't get that response, it guts you, it really does.

"Dark side, really?" Peyton was shaken out of her thought process.

"What?" Peyton turned around to see Brooke holding the cheerleading picture.

"Um, it's not what it looks like. When you do art you sometimes twist things in your own life to make a better picture. It's not what it looks like, I swear." The brunette girl was amused by Peyton's nervous rambling.

"No, I like it. Can I have it? I think I have some rights over it considering I'm the inspiration"

"Yeah. Keep it."

"So, do you draw just to draw? Or…"

"Sometimes, the world doesn't make a lot of sense. When I draw the world I make, makes a little bit more sense." Peyton caught Brooke's blank expression and deduced her rambling made no sense.

"I'm sorry. That probably sounded really stupid and pretty nonsensical."

"No, it actually makes a lot sense. I kinda wish I had something like that."

"You do. Or you will, eventually. Everyone has something they just got to find it."

"How did you find this?" Peyton knew the answer. She just didn't know how to word it. She was never good with planned words.

"After my mom… When my mom died, I was really lost. Nothing made sense. You know why me and all that other stuff? I didn't have enough time. My father sat me down one day and said 'Peyton, a lot of things don't make sense. Some never will. You shouldn't try to make sense of them. Don't try so hard, kiddo. It won't get you anywhere. Live life. Don't ask questions. You're not going to get a lot answers.' Now, I'm not exactly the type of person to accept that answer. I decided if this world didn't make sense that I was going to find one that did. Of course, I come to find out the only way to find a world to make sense is to make your own. I tried but, all that happened was a world that mirrored my own. Because no matter what world you're in, it's not going to make sense."

"If it helps, that made a lot of sense." It did. It really did help Peyton.

"We should head back to school. Lunch is over in like, twelve seconds." Brooke forgot this was just supposed to be lunch. She got lost in knowing Peyton. She was so guarded and had a shoulder shrug approach to life that any little thing to know about her was of value.

"Yeah, Thanks for everything."

"It's no big deal. It was just some Peanut butter and Jelly."

"No, I mean for the picture and, you know, everything."

"You too." Peyton and Brooke walked downstairs and Peyton grabbed her jacket and bag from the chair. She drove Brooke and herself back to school. Back to the world. Back into the nonsensical world. Things in Peyton's room made sense, here they didn't.

_And I'm leaning on a broken fence between Past and Present tense._

_And I'm losing all these stupid games that I swore I'd never play. _

_And it almost feels okay._

­**- The Weakerthans**


	4. She Paints Me Blue

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. Really appreciated. Also, shoutout to Popbaby1 who is making a mix based on this fic. Any song mention or quote comes from her. I am not cool enough to find my own music. **

* * *

After third period Brooke talked to Peyton by her locker. 

"So, are you going to Casey's?"

"Who?"

"Casey McLaughlin."

"Once again, I repeat, who?"

"Captain of the Lacrosse team. C'mon Pey!"

"I still have no idea who that is and wasn't invited to the party."

"Are you kidding? Cute girls are invited everywhere."

"Hence, my lack of invite."

"Oh shut up. You're hot, you know it and you're going to this party."

"No, it's cool really."

"No, I am going over to your house, picking out an outfit, and watching the boys drool. I won't take no for an answer. So Goodbye." Brooke left a flurry of excitement. What have I gotten myself into Peyton thought. Brooke was at Peyton's house as promised and immediately dove in her closest.

"Blondie, where are your skirts?"

"Skirts? Why are you looking for skirts?"

"Because you've got great gams and we are going to show them off." Brooke found a skirt amidst the mass of jeans and concert tees.

"I'll let you wear a black shirt."

"Thank you, oh Mighty Brooke."

"Shut up and put them on. I am going to pee and when I get back I want you dressed."

"You suck, Davis." Peyton said to the closing door.

"It's why I'm so popular!" Brooke could hear Peyton's faint laughter through the door. When Brooke returned, the blonde was dressed. Brooke thought Peyton looked decent if you liked that whole statuesque goddess thing.

"Nice, Sawyer, you should be the second hottest girl there. You should let me dress you more often. Now do that smoky eyed makeup thing and we're golden."

Once, they were ready. They headed to Casey's. Party by Love Arcade was booming from almost around the corner. Before they entered the party, Brooke looked over her shoulder to Peyton and with a devilish smirk said "Welcome to the dark side."

The only familiar thing to Peyton at the party was Peyton's jacket and Brooke. As soon as they walked in a guy around their age greeted them.

"Hey, Brooke. Who's your friend?" Some greasy blonde haired wannabe jock asked with a wink as Peyton tried to hold back her vomit.

"Peyton, this is Gavin, Gavin, this is Peyton."

"Hey, sweet thang."

"Peyton is a lesbian." She threw a questioning look to Brooke.

"What? Sweet!"

"She has herpes too."

"That's me. Peyton, the herpes infested dyke."

"Yeah, gotta go. Later Brooke. HEY SHELLY! Your ass looks sweet in those pants." Gavin said trying to get closer to a disgusted Shelly.

"Thanks for that Brooke."

"No problem."

"But, why herpes?"

"I didn't think that would get rid of him. He is usually far more persistent. I am going to get us a couple of drinks. Meet me at the couch." The blonde girl pushed through the mass of people to find the couch. She got a seat a good distance away from the tongue twins. She was handed a drink overhead.

"Thanks, Brooke."

"I'm not Brooke." Peyton looked above to see it wasn't in fact Brooke, but, a boy. A good looking boy.

"Oh, sorry."

"It's fine. She told me to get this to you. She was on her way over but, got pulled away by the other cheerleaders. Is that seat taken?" He said nodding to the seat next to Peyton. She shook her head no as he took a seat.

"You're Peyton Sawyer."

"Indeed, I am." This guy kept staring at her face, in a manner that was starting to make her uncomfortable.

"Do I have something on my face or something?"

"What?" He said being shaken out of his trance. "No, Um this is actually pretty embarrassing."

"So, now you HAVE to share."

"This is kind of weird to be talking to you here. In eighth grade, I had the biggest crush on you."

"What?!"

"Yeah, I know. We had English and Math together. I sat two seats to the right of you. I will never forget that day we had to read our poems in front of the class and you didn't want to read yours because it was about your mom and all. So you read it and it was really great. I mean it. Not even in an 8th grade poem kind of way and afterwards when you turned to Mr. Jacobs and slammed it on his desk and walked out was just so cool. I was hopelessly in love with you. I tried to ask you to tutor me in English, at least a million times, but I could never get the courage. Plus, it didn't really boost my ego that you wouldn't speak to me or that I was like the only the boy that hadn't hit puberty."

"Wow. You remember all that?"

"Oh yeah. You, Peyton Sawyer, were my eighth grade sun."

"So, what happened?"

"High school, I guess. I grew four inches over the summer. My voice finally dropped and guess who made varsity."

"Ah, yes. Cheerleaders in, Peyton out. Got it."

"No, you were never out. You were more on hold. Till this day every time I see you in the hallway, I just go back to being that squeaky short eighth grade boy who would get sweaty palmed just THINKING about talking to you.

"Why, so chatty now?"

"Honestly? I'm a little tipsy. They don't call it liquid courage for nothing. Now that I have spilled my guts to you, anything you would like to share?"

"I do kind of remember you. Actually, all I really remember was you dropping your books a lot."

"Yes, due to nerves. So, while I still have my courage, do you want to do something? Maybe sometime?" She faintly heard her name being shouted across the room. She rose from the couch to meet the voice.

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing something, sometime. Right now, I am going to go. So, maybe I will see you later. Try to hold on to your books this time around."

"I will." Peyton walked across the room to the voice and saw Brooke Davis giggling.

"PEYTON!"

"Brooke" She replied apprehensively.

"Guess what?" Brooke asked in a half whisper and she stumbled into Peyton's arms.

"Getting drunk really fast isn't really hard."

"Okay. You know what else? I am going to get you home real fast."

"Why? We are having fun. You were talking to that guy and I was talking to that guy, that guy, and that guy too. See? FUN! Oh My God, you are trying to sleep with me. I totally get it. I knew there was a lack of skirts for a reason."

"Okay, time to get into the car." The curly haired girl said as she dragged Brooke towards the door.

"BYE, everyone!" By the time they got to Brooke's house she was half asleep. She mumbled the direction of her room which had a side entrance. She laid Brooke down on the bed, lifted her up to take her jacket off, and took her heels off.

"Peyton." A sleepy Brooke muttered.

"Yeah?"

"You are far more interesting than any guys I talked to tonight."

"Thanks."

"And Peyton"

"Yeah?"

"No matter what I say, I like the way you dress and I am sorry for saying you had an STD."

"It's fine, Brooke. Now go to sleep." As she finished her statement she noted Brooke was asleep. Peyton shut the lights off and walked out to her car. She left with a smile on her face. The dark side wasn't so bad.

_Tonight I watch the lights go out in your house_

_Wondering how I could get so deep_

_And you could still get sleep_

_In vain I blame my trembling on the cold air_

_And I can't hide that I've relied on you_

_Like yellow does on blue  
_**- Something Corporate **


	5. Thin Air

The day was going as usual. Peyton had finished the outline for a new drawing. She didn't really know where she was going with it. She had listened to some Dead Kennedy's and inspiration had struck her. She sadly couldn't say the same about the English assignment. As she stuffed her notebook into her locker she saw a brunette blur with dimples approaching.

"Hey, did you get the.."

"Shut it, Sawyer. You'll never guess what I heard."

"Guess? Don't you mean care?"

"Come off it. You hang on every word I say. I just know it." Does she really think that? Peyton nervously pondered.

"You wish, Brooke." And the responses just get lamer Peyton thought as she looked for a hole to jump in.

"Excuse me." said the booming deep voice. Brooke turned around to see the owner of the voice. She put on a grin.

"Why, hello there."

"Hi Brooke. I was wondering if I could talk to Peyton. In private. You know privately. Talk to Peyton privately... in private." Suddenly the Niagara Falls had taken residence in his palms. He had rehearsed this at least five times in his head. He was usually good at the whole talking thing.

"Yes, you may, Bumbley. Peyton, I will talk to _you_ later." She ended the statement with a pointed look and walked away with almost a bounce to her step.

"Hey."

"Hey." Never had a high school hallway seem so silent in Peyton's mind.

"So"

"So"

"I'm here with my books in hand."

"I noticed and what nice books they are." Note to self: NEVER OPEN MOUTH AGAIN.

"So remember that something, sometime? I was thinking maybe sometime could be this Friday and something could be like a date or whatever." Apprehension was written all over his face. He, the most popular guy on campus, was nervous and that bought a strange wave of relief to Peyton.

"Yeah, that sounds cool."

"Really? Awesome. I've got to go, but this is awesome. I'll talk to you, later." He left with a large grin on his face.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peyton suddenly felt a Brooke-like weight on her back.

"I was calling your name for like ever, but you were in whiny music land." Removing her headphones for being perched on her neck Peyton moved her legs indicating for Brooke to get off of them. Brooke slid to the foot of the bed where Peyton joined her.

"First of all, B. Davis, I am listening to John Lennon and he is far from whiny. If he was here he'd be extremely insulted."

"Yeah, yeah. So cut to the chase what was up with you and Senor Hottie today?" A blush rose to Peyton's cheeks for some odd reason she thought Brooke would choose to not mention the encounter with the jock.

"Nothing. He just kinda asked me out on date." As the word tumbled out of Peyton's mouth, Brooke released a shriek giggle hybrid.

"Are you going to do it? What are you going to wear? Are you going to sleep with him? Are you a virgin? Would you mind losing your virginity to him? Do you think he will be good in bed?" And other flurry of questions came at Peyton.

"Slow down there. I told him yes and we will take it from there."

"What's up with you? You don't seem the least bit excited. Does he not tickle your fancy because he sure as hell tickles mine?" Peyton realized she wasn't excited. Sure, he was handsome and nice, but it didn't mean anything to her. When he talked and smiled at her, her stomach didn't flip flop and her heart fluttered. She wanted her heart to flutter. She wanted him to make her heart flutter but he didn't.

"It's really no big deal. It's just a date. You know kids do that sometimes." Peyton got up to search for a new album this one didn't fit suddenly.

"Alright whatever you say. You should at least pretend to be excited. Some of us don't have the pleasure of dating Tree Hill God Nathan Scott." But I do Peyton thought and I couldn't care less. She got off her bed and walked over to her record player. She took off _Imagine_. She needed something that could echo her feelings. She founded what she was looking for and moments later _I Wanna be Sedated _filled the room.

"You can't always do that, Pey." Peyton turned around to face Brooke.

"What are you talking about?"

"You can't change the record because you don't like it. Life doesn't work that way. You can't always change things in life because you don't like. You can't control change." She had become enraged at Brooke's statement. The last thing she needed was someone telling her about change.

"You have the audacity to tell me about change? My mother died Brooke. You know how? A fucking light decided to change at the wrong time and car hit her. I know about change. If anyone knows they can't control change it's me. You don't know me as well as you think you do, Brooke. So just don't."

"Woah, calm down, I wasn't saying anything like that. I was just trying to"

"It doesn't matter what you were _trying _to say Brooke. I got the point. Now, get out please."

"Peyton, I don't know why you're acting like this but"

"Leave. Brooke, just go." Peyton half pleaded.

"If you want me to leave, then fine, I'm gone." Brooke grabbed her purse from the end table. She refused to look back at Peyton. The usually bouncy brunette left deflated. She left a Peyton Sawyer who didn't even understand what she was yelling about. Peyton didn't know why she overreacted. She just knew every time someone got close, they didn't stay there for long.

Friday came and Peyton was dreading the date. She couldn't turn him down though. He seemed like a pretty sweet guy. Sure on campus he was all macho and such but she saw him other times. She saw him sometimes talking to his mom on the phone and he would always end the conversation in "I love you". She saw him once help carry an old lady's groceries. She thought only boy scouts and guys in movie did that. He had come up to her the previous day to confirm their plans. Peyton tried to seem excited. She was relatively unsure how well she did. As planned he showed up right on time looking quite handsome and complimented Peyton on her attire.

He took her on a walk on the beach. They sat and talked about trivial things until there was a pregnant pause.

"I never told you this but, I'm sorry about your mom. We weren't really anything then so it probably would have come off as really insincere." Nathan said to break the silence.

"Thanks. I got a lot of insincere ones. To know you mean it helps." The dichotomy that was Nathan Scott really interested Peyton. In school he had a smug grin on all the time and was surrounded by lackeys. Outside he was a good ol' almost meek boy. "Can I ask you something, Nathan?"

"Yeah, shoot."

"What's up with you?

"What do you mean?" He ended with a nervous chuckle.

"I mean you are..sweet outside of school and in school you are…" Peyton tried the word to describe it, but Nathan interrupted her train of thought with the perfect one.

"A dick? A raving jackass?"

"Yeah." She was a little shocked by his bluntness.

"Well, the answer is when I walk into that school I'm not Nathan Scott anymore. I'm Dan Scott's son. He wants me to be just like him. So I am. I act like a jackass, boss people around and make stupid jokes. I put that stupid shit eating grin on. Oh yeah it's hereditary. When I leave school I'm Nathan Scott again. I can go home and be a regular teenager, whatever that is."  
After a long pause in which all you could hear was the waves creeping up on the beach.

"Seems like someone has daddy issues" The boy let out a soft chuckle at that.

"I guess you could say that."

"It's okay. I've got mommy issues." With that Peyton got up from off the sand. She wiped the same off the back of her pants and nodded in the general direction of the car indicating for Nathan to join her. He drove her home and walked her to her door.

"I had a nice time with you, Peyton."

"Yeah same." Peyton was shaking internally. She was afraid of this part. Was he going to try and kiss her? She still did not feel that chemistry with him. What if he thought he felt something for her?

"Peyton I don't know how to say this" Shit SHIT. He is going to profess his love for me. I know it. Peyton subtlety looked at her door as if to try and draw it nearer to her. "But, I kinda got the friend vibe from you." The breath she had been holding for the whole night was released.

"Are you serious? Oh Thank God. I was going to say the same thing." Nathan looked so relieved. The tension in his shoulders dissolved.

"Really? That's great I didn't want to hurt your feelings or anything."

"My feelings are completely un bruised."

"Great. I still want to, you know, hang out or whatever. Is that cool?"

"Yeah, totally."

"Cool. I just want you to know, you made eighth grade me very happy. Nathan hugged Peyton and then proceeded to walk to his car. As he was almost there Peyton trotted over and tapped him on the shoulder. Before he could ask why, she gave him a quick soft peck on his lips.

"He was a sweet kid to me. I thought eighth grade you deserved a little more than a hug." Leaving a semi-shocked Nathan Scott, Peyton walked into her house and straight upstairs to her room. She grabbed her phone and dialed Brooke's number. As it was ringing Peyton realized that Brooke was probably still mad at her from earlier in the week.

Brooke was on the phone with Martin. Martin was a starter on the volleyball team. When he originally told Brooke this she thought 'Wow that is like the gayest thing ever.' She thought that until she saw him in those shorts. Suddenly, volleyball was Brooke's kind of sport.

"Oh really! Then what would you do?" She cooed into the phone when she heard that incessant beep indicating another call. "Hold on, Marty. I've got another call. I'll be right back to finish this little _discussion_." She clicked over. "Brooke Davis and make it quick."

"Hey, it's Peyton." Brooke sighed heavily into the phone.

"What do you want, Peyton, to have another mini-meltdown?"

"I wanted to apologize for the way I acted. You were totally right. I can't shut the world out or control it. You're so right it scares me sometimes." Peyton hadn't meant for that to slip but once she bared her soul it was kind of hard to filter some parts out. Brooke thought about what Peyton said and it seemed genuine enough.

"Alright, Blondie, quit the ass kissing. Wasn't your date with Hot Shot tonight? How'd it go?"

"Well, I was thinking you could come over, we could watch some movies, I could fatten you up, and I could possibly talk about it. What'd ya say?"

"Sure, I'll be right over."

"Rad, so I'll catch you soon. Bye." Brooke heard the giddiness in Peyton's voice and then the click. She clicked back over to Martin.

"Listen, Martin, I know we had plans tonight. Something just came up, sorry. Bye!" Brooke knew not to listen to a guy like Martin for too long. He would try to get her out of her plans and pants. Hanging with P. Sawyer was much more interesting than hanging with a possibly gay volleyball player.

_You've and I are taking over _

_High time for a change  
…_

_You know, I know _

_All I want to be is here _

_With you, for you _

_All I need to disappear _

_Is an ordinary day _

_Just one in a million_

**- Mohair. **


	6. 23

**A/N: **I'm so so sorry about the lack of updates. I got really caught up in the summer. This is chapter is short but I think it has a lot of meaning. I am trying to work on the climax of the story and will continue to update.

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After Peyton finished on the phone with Brooke she busied herself with sleepover things. She put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. She straightened up her room and the living room. She heard a knock on her door and she raced downstairs. She grasped at the door knob when a sting of nervousness hit her gut. The door opened and on the other side was Brooke Davis with a smirk and groceries in hand. 

"I knew there had to be a reason for you to knock." Peyton quipped.

"Hon, I've seen the food you have here or I should say the lack of. I took it upon myself to get the proper sleepover munchies and alcoholic beverages. Now I can't open the door and hold these oh so heavy bags, can I Sawyer?" The blonde girl laughed at Brooke's long winded response.

"I can't even imagine you in the grocery store, Princess."

"Well, if you keep up with the lack of thank you, I will be right back there returning this stuff."

"I'm sorry. Here, let me help you and come on in." Peyton reached for the groceries and Brooke happily gave them all up. She busied herself with putting away the chips and other stuff Brooke brought over. "Brooke, I don't really want to get wasted tonight. As much fun as it sounds to go to school hung over…oh wait, that's right it isn't fun." Peyton half yelled to Brooke in the living room.

"You're no fun, Blondie. Now, what flick do you want to watch? Please, something to keep me awake."

"I was kinda hoping to watch the documentary on the mating of whales. Damn you." The blonde girl said walking back into the living room with the various snacks.

"I am not watching whale porn. I need to put my foot down somewhere. Now, hand over those skittles." As soon as Brooke finished her request, a small red projectile hit her right between her eyes. Brooke let out a small gasp but, it was covered by Peyton soft giggling that was slowly turning into a roar of laughter.

"Your" Peyton gasped for air as she looked at Brooke's face. "Your face was fucking priceless."

"I can't believe you did that." Brooke's mouth was agape. Peyton suddenly felt as if she crossed the line and this joke could have been taken badly.

"I'm sorry. You know I shouldn't have done that."

"I can't believe you did that before _me_" She spat out before she grabbed a handful of M&Ms and she chucked it Peyton.

"Oh, it's on, Davis." She proceeded to grab a handful of popcorn. She then retreated behind the couch using it as a defensive shield. Brooke was ready for Peyton's attack and it came in a flurry of popcorn from behind the couch. Brooke took the bowl of M & Ms and clutched to her chest. As soon as she the mass of blonde curls slowly rise from above the couch she tossed some M&Ms at her head.

"Ow, that stung damnit." Peyton slid back behind the couch. Peyton took the napkin off the side table and slowly raised her arms with napkin waving above the rim of the couch. "Surrender, I surrender." Peyton slowly rose from behind the couch with the napkin still waving. She was rewarded with an M&M to the rib. "Ow. What the hell? I surrendered!"

"You started, so I get the last laugh. So Ha."

"Now that you" Brooke threw a glare "Okay fine. _We _have efficiently messed up my living room. Let's pop in a movie."

Peyton and Brooke sat in the dark with the soft glow of the television being the only flicker of light in the room. They hadn't spoken throughout the movie expect for Brooke's occasional "Oh come on" or "Wonder how much those cost?" After the second movie ended, Brooke went straight upstairs and Peyton followed. It was still eerily quiet.

"You know I have actually only done this once." Peyton said breaking the silence. She has taken a seat on the corner of her bed while Brooke took the other one at the foot of the bed.

"Done what? Seen a movie? Are you Amish?" The brunette girl asked confused. Peyton let out a small laugh.

"No, had someone sleep over. She wasn't even my friend. She was the daughter of one of my mom's coworkers. I didn't have a lot of friends and she was a social leper so they thought it would be a good idea. I wasn't practically happy about it. She came over and you can imagine me, welcoming and warm, as always. It sucked, we watched some movies and all she would talk about was her braces. We went to sleep. The next morning my dad made waffles. He is really good at that. Her mom came to pick her up and right before she left she hugged me and said thanks. It made her really happy. I felt bad that I was such a bitch about it."

"What happened to her?"

"I don't know. She either moved to West Lake, killed herself on her fifteenth birthday, or is on a soap. I heard a lot of different stories."

"Well, you certainly know how to give a bed time story. Don't cha Sawyer?"  
"I certainly do." She saw Brooke yawn out of the corner of her eye. In that yawn Peyton saw Brooke look younger than ever. She forgot that under that bubbly personality and silver tongue was just a seventeen year old girl. It entranced Peyton. Brooke always seemed so "I am what you see". Not to say she was two dimensional just to say that beneath that big personality and that evener big voice was a small girl.

"Why don't you hit the sack, Davis?" Brooke raised an eyebrow at Peyton.

"You think it is going to be that easy to get me into bed?"

"No, I think it should have been easier." A silence arose but was broken by Brooke's husky laugh.

"You're damn right. Hit the lights, P." She walked over to the lights to turn them off. She slid under the covers. Brooke mumbled out a good night and Peyton reciprocated. Brooke was soon fast asleep. It amazed Peyton how Brooke could go from exuberant fireball of energy to nothing more than a sleeping lump. Peyton couldn't sleep as easily. She was memorized by Brooke's rhythmic breathing and the rise and fall of her chest. It was constant. It was like a faint drumming of one of her favorite songs. She wasn't use to any constant in her life especially a person. She decided she couldn't sleep through this. She had to stay awake. Savor the few moments she had because this is how it always was. Fleeting moments of unvarying life before a radical change occurred. She knew she had to grasp on to the moment before the shake up hit her. It always did. The only thing she had now was this because by morning she had to be ready to brace herself. Needless to say, it was the hardest to brace yourself for what you don't what's coming.

_You'll sit alone forever_

_If you wait for the right time_

_What are you hoping for?_

_Im here and now Im ready_

_Holding on tight_

_Dont give away the end_

_The one thing that stays mine_

**- Jimmy Eat World**


	7. Under the Folding Branches

Peyton's eyes slowly fluttered open as she noticed the sun beaming through her window. She went to move off the bed but she was trapped. She was trapped by a set of arms. Not any arms but _Brooke's _arms. The idea made her smile a bit. The fact that Brooke had want to keep her close in a subconscious state sent a tingle coursing through her body. She felt Brooke's warm breath come in short pants on her neck. Peyton looked at the time and the red lights indicated she had to start getting ready for school. She used one of shoulders to nudge Brooke as she said her name softly. It didn't work so she tried again this time a little harder. She heard Brooke emit a soft grumble that sounded like Peyton or Satan. Peyton couldn't really tell.

"What do you want Sawyer?"

"For you to stop spooning me"

"What are you on? I am not spooning you." Brooke looked down at how she positioned. Behind Peyton and her arms wrapped around Peyton's folded arms, its official we have spooning. "I guess I am. Well, you are taller. You were supposed to be spooning me. So, obviously, subconsciously I was compensating for your lack of spoonage by spooning you. It makes perfect sense." Peyton had that shit eating grin of hers plastered throughout Brooke's bumbling explanation. Peyton leaned in close to Brooke's ear and let out a warm whisper that said "Whatever, you say Davis." She left the room to hit the shower although the only thing on her mind was how she finally topped Brooke Davis.

Once they were both ready for school and Peyton had made pancakes, which Brooke found utterly adorable, they headed off in Peyton's car. Brooke proceeded to lock arms with Peyton as she told her some ridiculous story about some country club. The thing about Brooke was she could make you feel like the only person in the room or if she wanted to she could talk with everyone in the room as if it was nothing. They entered the school and were giggling softly at Brooke's story. They had two doors to pass before they reached their lockers. As they were about to cross those doors Brooke looked up and she saw a boy with a gun pointed in their direction. It took a second later for Peyton to raise her eyes to see the same. The air had been punched out of her lungs. Brooke instinctively grabbed Peyton's hand and took half step in front of Peyton. When she saw the boy pull the trigger she pulled Peyton down with her. The next moments became a blur. There was a mass of footsteps and a flurry of screams. Brooke held on to Peyton for dear life. She couldn't lose her in the crowd. Without Peyton she would be lost. As soon as Brooke stood up she made sure to grab and help her up. She noticed blood in the spot in which Peyton was lying. She noticed Peyton limping so she took Peyton's arms and slugged it over her shoulder. Brooke pushed Peyton and herself through the crowd once she saw an empty classroom she raced into it. She closed the door immediately and locked it. She set Peyton down on a chair. She then proceeded to take another chair and jammed it under the doorknob. She knew she locked it but under that anxiety she couldn't take chances.

She sat next to Peyton, looking for the right words to say, desperately searching for something that could at all make sense. All that she could say was:

"What happened?"

"I don't know. Who was that? He looked so angry and scared."

"I have no idea."

They sat there for a couple of minutes in complete silence. They were just staring at the walls as if some divine intervention would let them know what the hell was going on. Brooke looked over at Peyton and noted she looked paler than before. She looked down to her leg and the blood soaked area of her jeans was increasing. Brooke looked through the draws of the vacant teacher's desk. She found what she was looking for. She tucked her left arm in her shirt. She cut that sleeve and did the same with the right. She tied them together then proceeded to tightly wrap them around Peyton's leg.

"What the hell? Are you some part time MacGyver?" The brunette girl let out a sheepish grin.

"I once told my mom I wanted to be a nurse. She made me watch all those medical dramas so I could see what I wanted. It worked, the horrible outfits alone turned me off, but I still watch them."

"Well, thank god for ER then." Brooke proceeded to elevate her leg. She didn't know if that really helped but it seemed like a good idea.

Peyton faced proceeded to grow whiter as she time elapsed. She slowly started to nod off. Brooke started to lightly tap her face to keep her awake.

"Hey hey hey, no stay awake. Sleep is bad. Come on lets talk. Tell me a story. Tell me anything." Just don't die Brooke added silently.

"I don't have any."

"Are you kidding me? You tell me like 12 stories a day. You have to have one."

"Tell me one." It was a soft command. Brooke racked her brain for a story.

"I've only seen snow once in my life. Have you ever seen snow?" Peyton shook her head.

"I've lived in Tree Hill my whole life." She had a twang in her voice. A soft melodic, southern twang that Brooke had noticed before but it was far more prominent now.

"Well, the first time I saw snow I was 12 and this when I was living in New York. We had gone upstate for winter break. It had been the hottest winter ever. I was still wearing t-shirts. Anyway, so I remember going to sleep that night and it being still a bit warm. I was upset because I knew we would be moving soon to California. I thought this could be my last chance for snow. I went to bed. I had this bed by the window. I noticed the sun seemed brighter than usual. So when I looked up I saw the sun reflecting over about two feet of snow. It was the coolest thing ever. So I jumped on my parents' bed and I told them I was going out. I was still in my pjs and barefooted. Not one of my smartest ideas mine you. I made a snow angel and ran around. I came back in sopping wet. I was sick for the entire winter break. It was worth it though." Brooke squeezed Peyton's hand to keep her alert. Peyton let out a soft laugh.

"You would do something like that and that's why I love you."

"Well, I love you too, Blondie."

"No, I'm losing a lot of blood and I have to say this before I pass out. I love you, Brooke Davis. I love the way you laugh, the way you can make anything sound dirty and the way you'll listen to me. No questions asked. I love you." Peyton leaned forward and pressed her lips against Brooke's. Peyton was crying. She wasn't bawling just shedding a couple of tears. Brooke didn't know how to react. She went on instinct and kissed back. It was innocent enough considering how Brooke usually kissed. The frozen moment was interrupted by a knocking on the door.

Brooke was startled and was unsure what to do. What if it was the shooter? She slowly approached the door.

"Is anyone in there?" A booming male voice came from the other side of the door. "If anyone is in there, don't be scared, this is the police. Please, step away from the door; we are going to knock it down." She stepped back from the door as she heard a soft counting. On three the door came tumbling down it was in fact an officer.

"Miss, are you okay?"Brooke was visibly shaken.

"Yes, I am alright, but my friend she is bleeding. She is right over…" She turned to see Peyton passing out. She raced over to Peyton to keep her awake. "No, Peyton, you got to stay awake. Come on stay awake. Please, just don't go to sleep." She was pleading with Peyton.

"Don't worry, Miss, will take care of her." He scooped Peyton into his arms and walked out of the building with Brooke near. "You can ride in the ambulance with her. You did well, miss." He said with a tip of the hat.

Brooke entered the ambulance with Peyton. She looked so helpless and small. They zoomed away from the school. It got further and further away. Suddenly, everything had changed.

_Love hide me away deep in this town and canopy of snow_

_Go, spin me around under the folding branches_

_Now, is not too late, heaven can wait another year or so  
_**-The Veils **


	8. Back in your head

**Thanks for the support and all the reviews. Here is the long awaited update.**

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Peyton had been shot in the leg. She now was favorite embossed in America's mind as the one who survived Jimmy Edwards. The concept boggled her mind considering everyone survived besides Jimmy Edwards. She cringed the first time she saw her picture on TV and smiled when she saw Brooke's. That was until she remembered what she had said before she blacked out. She remembers the tears coming down her face thinking she was going to die without Brooke knowing that she loved her. That somehow between the laughing and those comfortable silences she realized a moment without Brooke Davis was a moment wasted. She told Brooke she loved her. She had been on bed rest in the house for a week. She wasn't sure if it helped healed her leg, her heart or her frazzled mind but she believed it helped. 

"Hey, how are you doing?" A voice and body came peering from behind her door.

"Better than this girl, she found she was pregnant and doesn't know which of the neighbors is the 'baby daddy'." Her father laughed at seeing bits and pieces of his daughter's old humor returning.

"That's good to hear, I think. You up for visitors?" Peyton wondered who on Earth would be visiting her. She had not spoken to Brooke since the "incident".

"Yeah, sure." She had grown nervous on who it could be behind that door. She was surely surprised when the dark haired figure immerged.

"Hey Peyton."

"Hey Nathan. How are you?"

"Good, how about you?"

"Besides the bullet hole in the leg, pretty damn good." They shared a soft laugh together.

"Oh! I just remembered I got you something." He shifted through his pockets to produce what he had bought "There you go" Peyton laughed at the sight of Nathan's gift. He had purchased a case of bubblegum and chocolate bandages. "I thought if you're pretty much all alone healing, why not heal with treats?"

"Well that is a very thoughtful gift. Thank you." Moments of silence filtered through the room before Nathan broke it.

"So has anyone come to visit you, besides me and Brooke?"

"No, just you. I actually haven't seen Brooke." Nathan raised his brow.

"Really? Huh, that's weird. The other day I was jogging by and I saw her outside your door. I just assumed she came in." This information sent her mind into frenzy. Her mind launched into a million questions. Why was Brooke there? Why didn't Brooke come inside? Was she smiling or did she look upset? Was she wearing blue because she looked awfully nice in blue? She couldn't very well ask Nathan about it because he would start to wonder about Peyton's over-friendly interest in Brooke.

"Nathan, have you ever done something really stupid, but you knew it was the right thing?"

"Are you kidding? I play basketball. If I had a dollar every time I busted my head trying to reach for a ball going out of bounds, I'd be rich. My philosophy is its better to reach for something and not get it than watch it slip out of your hands." This comforted Peyton and scared her at the same time. She reached for Brooke, but it would absolutely gut her if she couldn't have her. She knew that it was a possibility, more than possibility.

"You know, Nate, you make a lot of sense."

"I got to head off. I have practice in twenty. Hope you feel better."

"Thanks for visiting and for the gifts."

"No problem." As Nathan reached for the doorknob of Peyton's bedroom door, he turned back. "You know I am sure if _you_ thought it was the right thing to do, it wasn't stupid." With that he closed the door behind him and left. Peyton hoped more than anything he was right.

School started up again. Everything was at a slower pace. Literally, for Peyton, considering the hobbling she had to do. The teachers and students were somber and the low hum that used to circulate through the school was lost. Peyton kept getting these looks from her peers. Some were of sympathy, some were of jealousy that she was on television and they weren't, and lastly looks of general confusion that she still went to this school. Peyton saw Brooke out of the corner of her eye in the middle of sometimes during class. They didn't talk. Peyton had been moved up front so she would have to walk less to her usual seat in the back rows. She also skipped lunch. She had no idea what Brooke was doing and it was driving her insane.

Peyton thought she would never talk to Brooke again, at least until that crisp Tuesday afternoon. Peyton had been waiting for her dad for about an hour after school. He told her he would pick her, but he would be late. She sat on the bench pleading for her pen to produce something on her paper. She had been artistically stagnant since the shooting.

She heard a soft giggle emanate from the doors, followed by a "Casey, you're so crazy." She knew that voice immediately. She sat still on the bench. She thought, on some elementary level, that if she sat still Brooke wouldn't see her. Brooke was rifling through her gym bag. She had not spotted Peyton yet. Peyton had spotted her however. She was in adorable shorts that stated Brooke was a cheerleader across her butt. Peyton read that a time or two before looking down at Brooke's legs. She had almost forgotten how lean yet muscular they were. Brooke found her keys and as she looked up her face paled. She emitted a soft, low, "hi" to Peyton. The blonde girl reciprocated. Peyton didn't know how she was supposed to feel. She assumed scared or angry or confused, but hearing Brooke's voice again made her feel warm. Brooke looked conflicted.

"Look, Peyton, I was looking to talk to you. I swear." Peyton laughed.

"Brooke, I was stuck in a hospital, and then on bed rest at my home, now I'm the only kid at school hobbling. You should try looking harder." Brooke laughed. The once overbearing tension was now waning. The brunette girl walked over and sat on the bench.

"How are…how's your leg?"

"Alright" Peyton shrugged. "I never got to thank you for saving my life, so here it is: thanks." Brooke blushed. She didn't see it that way. She had replayed that day over and over. Once Peyton's dad had arrived at the hospital, she left. Peyton's blood soaked jeans, her pale face, and sunken in eyes are those she will never forget. Then, there was the kiss which she hadn't even begun to process.

"You're welcome, P." Peyton's nickname had returned as if they hadn't spent a moment apart. "Say you waiting for anybody?"

"Just my dad, he is supposed to pick me up but he told me he would be late. I didn't think this late."

"I'll tell you what, calls Pops up and tell him you are getting a ride with the hottest girl in school."

"Really? That's weird I don't even talk to Rachel." Brooke let out a soft gasp and hit Peyton in the arm.

"I should let you hop your bony ass back home, but I won't because the hottest AND nicest girl in school wouldn't do that."

Peyton called her dad and told him not to worry because she had a ride. They got into Brooke's Beetle which if she had to pick a car in a lot that was most "Brooke-like" it would be a Beetle. She talked animatedly about the squad and other things Peyton didn't really understand, but just to hear her sound so happy was enough for her.

She dropped Peyton off in front of her house and helped carry Peyton's book bag inside. Peyton didn't want her to carry her book bag because it made her feel like an invalid but Brooke insisted. When they entered the house they were greeted with a sweet aroma.

"Something smells good. What'cha cooking dad?" Peyton's dad came from the kitchen with a washcloth swung over his shoulder.

"Hey, kiddo!" Peyton blushed at the nickname and when her father proceeded to pick her up into a bear hug.

"Hello, I'm Brooke. Peyton, why didn't you tell me your dad was such a looker?" She nudged Peyton in her side as both Sawyers blushed.

"Nice to meet you, Brooke, I'm Larry. Peyton talks about you all the time." The blonde girl was suddenly praying for a hole to emerge so it could swallow her whole.

"Well, I can't deny, I am a rather fascinating topic." Both Brooke and Larry laughed at Brooke's charm.

"Hey, Brooke, would you like to stay for dinner?"

"NO! Brooke, I am sure has other plans and other things to do within these plans so I think she wouldn't be able to stay for dinner." The idea of dealing with a whole meals worth of this kind of stuff made a pain his Peyton stomach. She started a soft "No" chant in her head hoping telepathically it reached Brooke.

"Actually, I am all free. Peyton, you know I never turned down a meal with someone so handsome." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"Great, it should be done in 15 minutes."

"Need any help in the kitchen, Mr. S?"

"No thanks, Brooke."  
"Well, I guess you will just have to waste time telling me horribly embarrassing stories about Peyton then." Brooke entered the kitchen with a wink to Peyton over her shoulder.

"Then…then", Mr. Sawyer was gasping for air, "She asks 'Daddy, why is Mr. Solomon wearing a dress?' In front of all the parents and I had to explain to her that it was his wife." Brooke covers her mouth as her drink threatens to spill out from her laughing.

"Har har har" Peyton muttered under her breath. This had to be AT LEAST the sixth embarrassing story her dad had told through the night.

"Come on, P, it's all in good fun." Brooke said as she noticed Peyton's sourpuss demeanor. "Plus I have seen the pictures; I doubt any child that cute could be in anyway embarrassing."

Once dinner was done, Brooke cited her had a good time. While Peyton was in the bathroom the formerly light mood of dinner changed.

"I know what you did for my daughter and I would like to thank you. You saved my daughter's life. It meant a lot to me, Brooke. She's all I got."

"She's all I got too, Mr. Sawyer." She wasn't used to family dinners. Her mother and father were very cold and Brooke was merely a thing, not so much a being to care for. The warmness that transpired in Peyton's house was something she desired so badly. She said goodbye to the Sawyer clan and drove home.

"You know I knew that Brooke girl looked familiar. When she first walked in I remembered her from the hospital. She was in the waiting room crying her eyes out after you'd been shot. I didn't know she knew you. I just assumed, you know, hospital waiting room bound to be some crying. She cares about you a lot, kid. I've never seen anybody that shaken up before. You hold on to that one. Plus, she thinks I am handsome, she must be smart too."

"Brooke is something, Dad."

__

repeat, repeat the words I know we both said 

_relax into the need we get so comfortable _

_Remember when I was so strange and likeable _

_I just want back in your head_

**Tegan and Sara**


	9. The Ocean

**I would like to apologize wholeheartedly about my lack of updates for so long. I gave up on this fic but the constant feedback and support I received made me give it a second thought. So thank you so much.**

* * *

Brooke and Peyton fell into their rhythm once again. It's almost as if the shooting never happened. Peyton was crutch free at this point, although an occasional limp would surface every now and again. Everything seemed fine, but in Brooke's mind it wasn't all peachy keen. Sometimes she thought back to the shooting. She thought back to Peyton's sunken eyes, pale face, how the blood soaked through her jeans, and how scared she was to lose her. Of course she thought about the words "No questions asked I love you." She wanted to bring it up but, she didn't want to disturb the serenity their relationship had. She caught herself day dreaming sometimes about telling her. Different scenarios ran through her mind. What if Peyton took it all back? What if Peyton meant I love you in a best friend kinda way? What if they kissed again and there was no spark? What if their whole friendship was ruined? Brooke didn't want to risk that. She kept her mouth shut and remained as bouncy as ever but, inside she couldn't help her mind from wondering.

The pace seemed to pick back up at Tree Hill. The Ravens were dominating the basketball court and now that Peyton was a semi-frequent attendee of the basketball games, she actually could participate in conversations about how "rad" last night's game was. Nathan and Peyton had also grown closer. They began to hang out occasionally outside of school. They began to confide in each other about their feelings. Peyton hadn't mentioned what happened with Brooke because sometimes she wonders if it really happened. Nathan was far more sensitive and deep than she initially imagined.

"Peyton, Can I talk to you about something?" Nathan asked in the hall, he twisted his backpack strap around and around. He seemed far more jittery than usual.

"Yeah sure, I actually have a free period. Do you want to go to the library?"

Nathan suggested they talk outside. Peyton placed her bag on the bench and sat down next to Nathan.

"What's up Nate? You seem extra jumpy." Nathan's knee was bouncing a mile a minute as he checked behind his shoulder to see if someone was coming.

"I haven't told anyone this. It's kind of a big deal. Have you ever liked someone that just seemed completely random for you to like? Like, totally out of left field?" Peyton thought about his question. Brooke was pretty left field considering her last relationship was with a runaway teen father.

"I actually have but, enough about me. Who is this mystery girl that has your feathers in a bunch?" Peyton asked with her cocked eyebrow.

"She is so annoying. She is always right and it drives me crazy. Crazy in a good way though, you know? She is really smart. She doesn't treat me special. She kind of makes fun of me. It's refreshing. She is pretty cute too. Sometimes she wears the most ridiculous things but, I don't care." Nathan spewed out like 7 year old boy hopped up on caffeine. "I just know I like her. I really like her and I want to tell her, but I can't. So I told you."

"Woah, that was pretty intense. You didn't answer my question though, who is she?"

"Her name is Haley. She is my tutor and she doesn't even pay attention to me. I tried everything. My game just isn't working with her. I don't get it."

"Haley? Who the fuck is that?" Peyton put bluntly. She was on edge trying to figure out who this mystery girl that had big shot Nathan Scott acting like a school girl.

"She is always in the tutor center and hanging out with Lucas Roe. He is that blonde guy who looks all squinty and sulky. I thought they were dating they spent so much time together, but she told they aren't." A light bulb went off in Peyton's head.

"Broody and Tutor girl! Haley is the girl with the poncho, right?" Nathan smiled.

"Yeah that's her. I don't know what to do." The blonde girl looked over at the confident jock and he seemed to have reverted to the eighth grader she once knew. He was nervous over a girl with a poncho. It couldn't be anymore adorable

"Have you tried showing interest in things she likes? Have you listened to her? Are you doing your homework, Nate?"

"No…but it can't be that easy."

"Yeah, but sometimes it isn't that hard. Look she has probably heard that rumors about you and girls. Why don't you try clearing them up? Why don't you show her what you show me? It might not get you far, but it will get you somewhere." Nathan stayed quiet for a moment and then in a whisper.

"But, what if I open up to her and she still doesn't like me?" His blue eyes bore into Peyton's and she had never seen him so vulnerable before.

"Then she is an idiot." Peyton reassured with a smile. Nathan got up with a new boost of confidence.

"You're right. I'm Nathan Scott. I can make this happen. It's game time. Here we go. Can you do a favor though?"

"Anything."

"Can you, you know, hang out with me in the tutor center while I am there? Knowing you're there will keep me from you know… bitching out." Peyton was amused by the request and couldn't help but tell him she would be there to support. They walked in silence towards the tutor center. Nathan projected a cool, calm demeanor but, Peyton knew he was a wreck on the inside. To Nathan the well polished hallways of Tree Hill High seemed longer than ever. He turned the doorknob into the tutor center. Peyton gave him a little shove towards Haley upon entering. Peyton unsure what she was supposed to do decided to go over by the back wall and look at the books. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Haley and Nathan chatting with ease.

She went back to looking at the books before she felt a tap on her right shoulder. She turned around to see a girl with shoulder length red hair and green eyes smiling at her.

"Hi, are you looking for a tutor?" The girl asked with a cute smirk.

"Um no, I am just here as a support team for my friend Nathan." Peyton replied nervously. Her hands got a bit clammy and her throat got a little dry. _This girl is sort of cute_ Peyton thought as she watched the girl quirk an eyebrow.

"You're friends with Nathan Scott?" The girl said with a hint of disbelief in her voice.

"Yeah, why is that such a shocker?" The blonde girl replied gaining a bit more comfort in the conversation.

"I wouldn't call it a shocker per se but, I have seen you around school and you seem more of the artsy type while Nathan seems more like…the raving jackass type."

Peyton couldn't help but let out a bit of a chuckle at this. _She is funny too. _

"Nathan knows he shows his douche-y side a bit too much in school. He is trying to work on it. He is actually a pretty cool once you get to know him."

"So I did get the raving jackass part right, sort of. How about you? Did I peg you right? Are you the artsy type?" The redhead tilted her head a bit and her voice took a different tone to it at this statement. _She is flirting with me, do I mind is the question at hand. _

"I guess I am easier to read than I thought. Yeah, I do draw but, I wouldn't classify myself as the artsy type."

"Really? Have any non-artsy artwork to show me?" Peyton opened up her green canvas messenger bag to find some of her work among her school books and some loose assignments.

"I don't really have much stuff on me, just some sketches, nothing to be hung in a museum or anything like that. Not saying my other stuff is museum worthy or anything like that just that…never mind I'm rambling." Peyton blushed as realized she was making a fool out of herself; she handed the notebook over and watched as the girl flipped through. She commented from time to time on certain pieces that she felt needed explaining. The red head remained silent though, simply flipping through the pages of the notebook. Peyton began to feel uneasy at the silence, wondering what the girl was thinking about her art.

"Peyton, these are really good. No joke. You are really talented." Peyton felt a swell of confidence reemerge.

"Thanks a lot, it just a hobby. No big deal."

"Modest too, you certainly are something. Hey, there is this art exhibit going on downtown that I heard was suppose to be epic. You want to go together?" The girl said it with such ease and no hesitation. Her confidence was so alluring to Peyton. She just had to say yes.

"Yeah sure, that sounds pretty rad."

"Cool, it's a date. See ya later.Bye." And with that the girl walked off leaving Peyton a mixture of bewildered and excited. She noticed Nathan walking towards the door and gesturing for her to follow.

"So how did it go?" Peyton asked.

"It went pretty good. We were talking and she even laughed at a couple of my jokes. We are going to study by the pier tomorrow. I am moving up in the world. I have officially made it out of the tutor center." Nathan gleamed at his minor accomplishments. "How about you? You seemed a bit preoccupied also." The dark haired boy was clearly alluding to the flirt session he witnessed. Peyton wasn't sure how to respond. She and Nathan didn't exactly talk about Peyton's lesbian tendencies, for all he knew she was straight. Hell Peyton wasn't too sure about her orientation at this point.

"I think I have a date. I don't know when or much at all."

"You have a date with Carson Peters? Impressive, she is quite the hottie. How did you land that?" Nathan asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"I have no effing idea, at all. I was just standing there and she came over and started talking to me."

"Damn, Peyton you must have some game." The curly haired girl's face became tinted with red at the thought.

"Guess so, but I am off to class. Catch ya later loverboy." Nathan let out a light laugh and gave a short wave bye.

Peyton walked to her next class with a bit of a spring in her step and she saw Brooke by her locker and it suddenly hit her. What was she doing? Going on a date with another girl, did that mean she was over Brooke? Did she want to be over Brooke? How was she going to tell Brooke she was gay? Is she gay? The euphoric high she was on suddenly came crashing down. It came down to one thing. What about Brooke?

_Am I alone in this?_

_never a night where I can sleep myself till day_

_we must try to figure it out, figure it out_

_it won't be that easy._

_we lost it somehow._

**-Mae**


	10. Fragile Tension

Carson apparently loved Dr. Pepper and Sophia Coppola movies. She also had a warm laugh that made Peyton's heart skip a beat and a sprinkling of freckles on her shoulder that was, in the oddest of ways, seductive. The art exhibit had, in fact, been quite good. Carson knew a lot about art and music. She also seemed to have a cleft in her lip that seemed mighty inviting. Throughout the day, Carson would brush her hand against Peyton's or tug at Peyton's leather jacket and it had to be the most adorable thing possible. It was already night though, so Carson offered to walk Peyton back to her house.

Now here they were, standing on Peyton's front porch. At the beginning of the outing, the idea of a kiss seemed completely impossible, but now Peyton was straddling the fence of should I or shouldn't I.

"So this is the mansion." Peyton said sarcastically, pointing to her house.

"You're too funny. I had a lot of fun today Peyton."

"Me too." Peyton felt an almost gravitational pull towards Carson. She took a small step towards her.

"Maybe, we could…you know…do it again?" Carson's voice was racked with insecurity and it made Peyton melt. Carson took a step towards Peyton. They were now a breath away from each other.

"Yeah, I'd like that, a lot actually." Peyton said a little breathless. Peyton felt Carson's hair brush the side of her face. All it would take was a fraction on an inch and they would be kissing. Peyton closed her eyes in anticipation.

"Hey P…" Brooke's greeting died off after she realized the situation she walked into. The girls had sprung apart. Brooke had come out of Peyton's front door onto her porch.

"Brooke! Um Hey. What are you doing here? On my porch at 9 o' clock nonetheless." Peyton felt unbelievably awkward. Here she is on her first date with a girl about to kiss her when her current girl crush walks in and cock blocks!

"I was waiting for you. I was driving by and I figured you be home soon so I was just hanging out. I didn't know you had _plans_." Brooke said plans through gritted teeth indicating she was not happy.

"Oh okay." Peyton was completely befuddled on what to do next. The first that came to mind was: "Brooke, this is Carson. Carson, this is Brooke." Carson jutted her hand out for a shake. Brooke gave a small shake and said a horribly fake "Charmed."

Carson, obviously feeling uncomfortable said "Look, Peyton I had a nice time, but I'm going to go. I'll see you at school." She turned to face Brooke. "Brooke, it was nice meeting you."

"Ditto." Brooke said hardly meaning it. Brooke watched as Carson gave Peyton a quick kiss on the cheek and left. Peyton felt a blush creep up her neck at the brush of Carson's lips to her cheek. Peyton turned around to see Brooke arms crossed with a cocked eyebrow.

"So Peyton are we going to talk about your new found lesbianism on the porch or should we take this inside?"

"Inside would be preferred." Peyton followed Brooke inside dragging her feet like a child who knew they were going to receive a hardy scolding from a parent.

Peyton took a seat on the couch as Brooke paced in the living room. She could tell the brunette girl was mad, but she couldn't help but find it adorable. She covered her mouth to prevent Brooke from seeing her smirk. She knew it would only aggravate her more.

"So Sawyer, last time I checked you weren't gay. Yes or No?"

"Brooke it isn't…"

"Yes or No, Sawyer?" Brooke interrupted sternly.

"Brooke, I don't know what I am. Nathan and I had fun on our date but it was totally friends' zone. All I know is I am attracted to Carson" _and you. _ She wished she could add. She still didn't know where the whole Brooke situation was heading.

"Well, you could have told me. I didn't have to find out this way. You could have told me about Cayman."

"Carter." Peyton corrected softly.

"Whatever. So how long have you been dating her?"

"Dating? That was our first date and by the way things ended probably our last." The blonde let out with a sigh. Brooke's expression softened and she stopped pacing the floor. She sat down next to Peyton on the brown couch. She took grasped Peyton's hand.

"Oh Peyt I'm sorry. I was just…surprised. I'm sorry for ruining your first date with Carson." Peyton felt a warm surge float up her arm from Brooke's touch. _Oh God. I'm so screwed_ Peyton thought.

"Brooke it's okay. I can wait for my first girl kiss." Brooke's face dropped.

"I ruined your first girl kiss too! I'm really sorry." Brooke squealed out. Brooke suddenly felt really bad for interrupting Peyton's date, but she could not just stand there and watch Peyton get macked on by some scrub.

"It's really okay. You want to crash here tonight? I'll make it up to you." The curly haired girl offered.

"Make it up to me? My spaz attack ruined your first date."

"Yeah, but I should have told you. You're my best friend, B. Davis." Brooke's face now had a soft smile on it. Peyton's sincerity and compassion melted her heart.

Brooke pretty much raised herself. Her whole life she had spent listening to her father close the front door on the way to work. It seems she never even remember the sound of him  
opening the door to come home. He would work till late at night, arriving after she had gone to bed. She spent her whole life listening to her mother on the phone with one of the other slags from the Country Club. Her mother was famous for spewing gossip or degrading some other woman's outfit from the last charity event. Her mother was always lounging by the pool with a drink in hand as if waiting for some award to come in the mail. "World's most useless mother", it would say. Every year before school started since middle school, an envelope would appear on the table with _Clothes _written on it. It would be filled with money and Brooke would ride her bike to the nearest mall or her nearest friend's house to get a ride to the mall. She would then buy her back to school clothes and return home several hours after. Not once did her mother ask her what she had bought or seemed to care.

The way Peyton had took to her just made Brooke feel so good. All her life she yearned for validation. Of course she never projected this needy side of her, but all she wanted was for someone to say "You matter to me." Peyton made her feel that way every second of the day. It was the little things Peyton did. If Brooke was seen digging furiously through her purse, she would feel a little jab to her ribs. It was Peyton handing her a pen, telling her to not worry about it and to "stop spending money on shoes and start buying some supplies."Or at Lunch when Peyton would give Brooke half her sandwich without even asking if she wanted it. The attention Peyton gave her tugged at her heart.

"Hey, where did you go, space cadet?" Peyton inquired after Brooke's eyes glazed over.

"Oh, sorry. What were you saying?"

"Um, only the most important thing of the night! Do you want to sleep in a 'Beatles' shirt or a 'Keane'?" Peyton smirked charmingly.

"Keane, The Beatles are so over." Brooke said hoping to get a rise out of Peyton. Peyton knew what Brooke was trying to do so she didn't take the bait.

"Just strip Davis." Peyton chucked the t-shirt at her face.

"Ok, but only because you asked nicely." Brooke threw her a flirty wink that made Peyton's stomach jump to her throat. The blonde girl knew Brooke had won again. She pulled back the covers of the bed and laid down. Brooke did the same after putting her pajamas on.

The girls were both lying down in silence. Eyes to the ceiling. Before Brooke broke the silence.

"I'm sorry that you thought you had to high your potential lesbian tendencies from me." Peyton's heart broke at Brooke's apology. She wanted to hug the girl, wanted to tell her why she hid it. She wanted to talk about the words she uttered during the shooting. She wanted to put everything on the line then in there. She didn't though. She remembered that she was missing courage. The one thing, besides confidence, that Brooke seemed to have an abundance of, while Peyton had none.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you, Brooke."

"No more secrets, Pey. Promise." Brooke sounded so small.

"Yeah, I promise." The only problem would be keeping this promise.

_There is a fragile tension,  
That's keeping us going.  
It may not last forever,  
But always flowing.  
…_

_There's a strange obsession,  
It's drawing us nearer.  
We don't understand it,  
It never gets clearer._

**Depeche Mode**


End file.
